Gaining back the ground

Without going into copious amounts of detail, God has been teaching me about gaining back His territory in my heart and running (racing?) forward with the plunder.  Exodus 3:22 says “Every woman is to ask her neighbor and any woman living in her house for articles of silver and gold and for clothing, which you will put on your sons and daughters. And so you will plunder the Egyptians.”  The Israelites were in slavery. Bondage. Two days ago, God showed me that I was in bondage to money and my finances and the plunder (in terms of a full, close, relationship with God) is being withheld.

I have been sucked into a very clever, vicious cycle. I loved to work and started to work so much that family relationships and health started to slip. My attitude was this: “I work hard and therefore, the money I make is mine and I should be able to do as I please with it.” Creating a budget would actually mean that I would have to care about how I spend my money and be accountable. It would restrict my “freedom”. And I did not want to do that.

To add to the utter ridiculousness, I could not imagine how we could possibly go into ministry part- or full-time, since there is no money in it. And we need money to survive and buy the stuff we “need”.

Then, my husband lost his very lucrative job a year ago and did not get another one for 10 months. Over this time, we spent money like we always had. Except we dipped way into our credit lines, cards, etc.

Yep. It sucked. The realization of it all. Our financial consellor tried to butter it up. “Well, everyone messes up sometimes. You are not alone.” “No,” I said. “We have totally screwed up and we are going to pray and we are going to repent and that will be that. Then, we are going to move forward, soak in the some 2300 scriptures that God has provided us to deal with money through the Crown Financial Ministry bible study, gain back the ground we have lost and enjoy the plunder that will ultimately come when we walk in obedience.”

I have a very clear understanding that God is in control of everything. Everything. Everything in my life, in the world, in other people’s lives. Everything. What I was missing was that he actually owns everything too. All of it. All possessions, all my money. All of it. He wants every single last bit of us and our hearts.

Although we will have a big journey ahead of us to make this right (there are always consequences to actions such as these), I am certain that this “season” will take us to a new level of trust, faith and understanding of what God has planned for us. He will honour our attempt to gain back the ground we gave away in our disobedience, and allow us to enjoy the plunder, once we are through.

I’ll keep you posted on how it goes!

 

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