In God’s Time

Photo by Alan Cleaver

I struggle.

I have been in Swift Current now, just over 6 weeks and I struggle. I want to be in a building, with lots of energetic Tae Kwon Do students and I want God’s power zooming through me. I want people to see God in me. I want to walk under His wing, with a sureness that the world will never know. I want to believe in His divine plan for me, for my family.

It is not doubt, for I do believe that His will is coming to pass, it is His timing that causes the struggle. This causes a time of prayerful introspection, of who I am and what He is to me. I need to be the servant that waits for his Master. I need to also be the servant that takes the ten talents and uses it for His glory and not bury it deep within prairie soil.

As I pray about everything that is happening, I hear the Holy Spirit whisper ‘1 Timothy’. On the heels of that small and still voice, I hear, “My grace is sufficient for you.”

Why am I not making money? “My grace is sufficient for you.”

Why is the school not shaping up the way I want it to? A peaceful silence. This is about His timing and I am gently reminded of that by His silence.

Why am I here, in Swift Current?
1 Timothy 18 “This charge I entrust to you, Timothy, my child, in accordance with the prophecies previously made about you, that by them you may wage the good warfare,” (ESV)

Where I don’t know anyone? “Acts 18:9-10” (here I got a break from the Epistle to Timothy.)
“One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: “Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. 10 For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city.””

Why do I feel more alive and blessed than I have ever felt?
1 Timothy 12-16 “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you.

Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.” (NIV)

As you can see, there seems to be a lot going on, between the Holy Spirit and myself. I want a relationship with my Creator, not a demi god that I take out of the box when I need him. If I firmly and fully believe that Jesus created all things and by Him, all things were made (Colossians 1:16 ), I want to hear what He has to say. I try not to fall in to the prayer of the gentiles found in Matthew 6:7:

“And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words.”

But that can be difficult, and I understand why people pray the same thing over and over. We want to be heard. We want to be heard and we want to hear. Does a lack of faith drive those types of prayers? I don’t know. I just know that I am a human being digging in as close to my God as I can and I want to hear His voice in the wilderness.

I ask for your prayers as we are in the missions’ field. Leave a comment and share what you are struggling with and how you hear God answering your prayers.

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3 comments for “In God’s Time

  1. November 13, 2011 at 8:58 pm

    I am praying for you, and Carrie and the kids..I am sure Moses felt like you did many times..can you imagine wandering through the desert with people that did not have the vision you did, and listening to them complain?? Some days it is hard to obey God’s leading, but as we heard in church is so worth giving up everything to follow Jesus..I struggle with laying down my idols, and giving God complete control..but when I do there is such a peace that surrounds me. Praying that God will give you His peace even when you can’t always see Him moving.

    • cvictory-admin
      November 14, 2011 at 2:24 pm

      Thank you Dawn! Your prayers are always welcome. As long as we have a heart of flesh, it is hard to always follow, always be obedient. But we need to put on the armor and never look left, nor to the right…

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